I consider myself to be extremely lucky for having apart from two caring and loving parents, also a brother-who entered my life three and a half years after I was born-to turn to whether I am happy or in distress. Being the oldest child in our family, I was usually the one that had to listen to all the parenting advice before my brother was old enough to take a stand. Although our relationship has been through a lot of ups and downs, now that we both technically belong to the adult group of the family, I consider my brother to be one of the most caring and smart individuals I know and consider him to be irreplaceable in my life.
I catch myself often traveling back in time and remembering with nostalgia those instances that we felt compelled to fight over a toy or a T-shirt, although we both knew that trouble was on its way since we were supposed to wash our hands and get ready to sit down at the dinner table with our parents. I smile when I recall those Sunday mornings that I had to run to my brother’s bedroom as my mother entered his room in order to begin narrating his favorite story. Although I do not remember how this became a family “ritual” that lasted throughout our childhood-since the usual practice for kids is to listen to fairytales before getting to bed-my mother was always ready to repeat the story of the righteous young man and his successful fight against the misunderstood monster that frightened the inhabitants of an imaginary village. The tone of her voice and the moral of the story always made us wake up with a feeling of excitement that everything in life is possible. Well, I am proud to admit that my brother is a living proof of that old saying. Without hesitating and by being confident of his abilities and his willingness to experience the world, he was the one that took first the step of traveling abroad, studying the subject matter of his choice, becoming a young promising professional in his field of expertise, buying a house, and still keep his friends close and my parents happy with his life’s choices.
The truth is that our relationship has changed considerably over the years. While at the beginning was more or less similar to any brother-sister relationship you have been probably exposed to, although we were not jealous of each other, somehow we managed through similar experiences and common life goals to establish a very sincere and open channel of communication. Maybe it seems too honest at times for me to handle with confidence, but the fact remains that I am grateful to have the opportunity of speaking with my brother whenever I please, to give him my advice when he asks for it and not to be afraid to raise an argument that might not find him in agreement.
Having an adult brother-sister relationship is one of those things in life I cherish and consider myself extremely lucky for being able to enjoy. My sincere wish for both of us is to continue opening up each other, understand and respect our differences, learn from each others mistakes, and of course, increase the frequency of our visits to one another. One thing I miss terribly is his face. He is one of the people I know I can laugh with and cry in front of without later feeling embarrassed I did. I consider this feeling to be unique; at least for me.
Jonathon Hardcastle
http://www.articlesbase.com/advertising-articles/an-adult-brother-sister-relationship-61672.html
November 5th, 2009 at 7:03 am
Anyone have basically no relationship with their adult brother or sister?
I am close with my family but my husband really has no conversation or contact with some of his sisters. He sees them on Christmas but really just ignores them. He says it is their fault, I am sure others may disagree.
How common is this?
November 5th, 2009 at 12:05 pm
I have only occasional contact with my older brother and I am the one who initiates it. If my brother would try more I would try more. But just because we don’t talk much doesn’t mean we don’t care about each other, we just don’t have much in common.
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November 5th, 2009 at 12:07 pm
I last saw my older sister at my fathers funeral, before that 4 years. I missed her last (I think 3rd) wedding etc etc – Its not that we hate each other – just nothing in common and I in particular have no use for her. I’m close to other 2 siblings.
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November 5th, 2009 at 12:09 pm
I come from a family where there were five children; I was the "middle" child of the five. None of us were really close. I just lost my older sister and younger brother (both adults) last year to cancer. We were so far apart in our communication with one another, I didn’t even KNOW my older sister HAD cancer.
Even sadder than all of this, neither of my parents seemed to really care (that much) that they died. They sort of disliked having to financially help while my younger brother went through chemo.
Yeah! I think this sort of sad situation happens frequently. And that’s too bad. Because to ME, "life" IS about . . . . . .family!
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November 5th, 2009 at 12:11 pm
It is probably more common than you think.
I am 32, my sister is 30. The only time we see each other or even talk to each other is if we both happen to be at our Mom’s house.
We never had a falling out or problem at all, we just don’t see each other as friends.
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November 5th, 2009 at 12:13 pm
More common than you may think. I have an older brother who lives about an hour away from me and I haven’t seen him in a few years. Nothing is wrong, but that’s just the way it is. We e-mail often, but rarely speak. I also have a half brother that I do not speak to. I don’t tell many people, but he molested me when I was 8 yrs. old. His daughter is another I will not speak to… she was invited to live with me and my first husband when she came upon hard times. They proceeded to have an affair that everyone but me seem to be aware. My marriage ended and so did all communication with my niece.
Most people don’t have such unsavory reasons for not communicating; much is to do with an argument that hasn’t been resolved.
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November 5th, 2009 at 12:15 pm
I have 2 brothers. One I see every week…I feel like hitting him every time he opens his stupid mouth. The other one I see maybe every couple months…sometimes I think it’s better that way.
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November 26th, 2009 at 12:31 am
I have a brother 12 years my senior. We have not gotten along for several years. I haven’t seen him in a year or communicated with him or his family at all. I don’t exactly know why this happened, though I have an idea it was a dumb misunderstanding as usual. It hurts me terribly that he does not want me in his life. My kids miss their cousins and tomorrow being Thanksgiving my family is spending it at home without any extended family. Friends are all busy with their plans. My mom is spending it with my brother, as usual. I hate the whole situation, but he insults me, insults my family and he hasn’t made contact in one whole year. I am going to have to try to make it pleasant for my kids but it will be hard because I am broken-hearted that the only brother I have can’t even respect me enough to care about me.