What is the general format of marriage counseling, is it helpful? My husband and I have EVERY problem in the book and have our first appt today… what should I expect?
When my husband and I went to counseling I found it to be one of the best things ever. The therapist that helped us didn’t go straight into our problems, instead he just explained to us the different ways men and women think etc…then went on to give us little test to see where we were at with knwoing eachother in all kinds of ways….and this didn’t happen all in one appt. I had so much that I wanted to vent that very first time. But, the way that the therapist had us approach our problems was excellent. I hope that helps. Good luck. It is always good to have an unbias opinion to help you see how the other person thinks and feels.
Feb 07
February 7th, 2010 at 10:59 pm
its imp as it wud give a small peek in wt one shud expect frm each other… at the end of the day its about having and sharing a space with each other… so pls go on ..
***MY LEADER SWEET MILDRED SENT ME TO FIND DESPERATE WIVES FOR HER PLAYPEN***
References :
February 7th, 2010 at 11:25 pm
As long as you both work at it, and the person doing the counseling is competent then it can be a great thing. All you can do is take a big deep breath and give it a go.
Good luck.
References :
February 7th, 2010 at 11:50 pm
Expect your first appointment to be like an interview of sorts. Every counselor has a different style and you want to find one that you feel comfortable around that will allow you to pursue facing your challenges in a way that makes sense for both you and your husband. You may want to check out several counselors before you settle on just one, but when you find the one that works for both of you then you will be very happy that you took the time because they can and will help your marriage.
References :
February 8th, 2010 at 12:17 am
When my husband and I went to counseling I found it to be one of the best things ever. The therapist that helped us didn’t go straight into our problems, instead he just explained to us the different ways men and women think etc…then went on to give us little test to see where we were at with knwoing eachother in all kinds of ways….and this didn’t happen all in one appt. I had so much that I wanted to vent that very first time. But, the way that the therapist had us approach our problems was excellent. I hope that helps. Good luck. It is always good to have an unbias opinion to help you see how the other person thinks and feels.
References :
February 8th, 2010 at 12:43 am
If you both truely want the marriage to work go with an open mind and a bless heart and be truthful in all your response’s it may hurt but its an honest answer
References :
February 8th, 2010 at 12:54 am
Every therapist is different, so I can just share with you how my experience has been. We went in together for the first one. She spoke with us together for 15 minutes, individually for 20 minutes each, and then together again with sort of a game plan of her opinions. Since then, we each gone seperately a few times, and now we are going together to address the issues as a couple. Our first session was mostly, when did you get together, when did you start noticing problems, what was the ‘last straw’ that sent you here, who decided to bring up therapy, etc. I can only speak personally, but my individual sessions have helped exponentially. im still super stressed and not getting along with my husband, but i feel i know myself better now and that is a start. i was really skeptical and thinking, ‘how could talking to someone else about my problems make me feel any better?’ but after a few sessions, i honestly did feel better a little bit and thats better than nothing. im apprehensive about anything getting any better, but its worth a shot, because if we didnt go, we would get a divorce. I wish you all the best in the world, and I hope your session goes well. I know our first one felt almost too quick and very superficial, but it seemed like, looking back on it, the first time was for the therapist to get a feel for where were at as a couple and also as individuals. It layed the blocks for more open conversations and a game plan to take each problem one by one. You’ll be in my thoughts!!!
References :
February 8th, 2010 at 1:21 am
They try and help you work through your problem. They teach you how to communicate with each other and actual hear what the other person is saying , now what you thing they are saying. If the two of you work at it and want it to work then yes it will help you a great deal. I truely hope you can work things out. Good Luck.
References :
February 8th, 2010 at 1:42 am
What we have found so helpful in our marriage counselor is that she sees what we can’t because we are going back and forth with each other. Or she’ll bring up surpressed things that him or I never really realized in ourselves which then leads to how we can be better people.
References :
February 10th, 2010 at 5:34 pm
As a couples’ counselor, I can tell you what I do. As has been noted, the first and sometimes second sessions are all about getting the story (current and history.) I usually get a good feel the first time because I do long sessions. After that much of the work revolves around what I saw and helping the couple recognize and learn things. I do allot of teaching, pointing out patterns, and helping them move forward through action.
As another commenter said most of it depends upon the couple and how motivated they are- I can’t do the work for them.
On a fun note, I will often say something to one partner and they’ll agree. The second partner will exclaim “I’ve been saying that for months!” Unfortunately, she/he has been saying it at the top of their lungs in fights; not easy to hear. Having a neutral third party who is trained to work with couples is really helpful.
All the best for you and yours in this new journey.